Snowballs
by lunatic.meap
Summary: It was Christmas, and the Batkids are bringing chaos back to the Manor (unsurprisingly), and strangely enough, none of the boys started the fight this year...


**A.N:** Merry Christmas, everyone! Or whatever celebration you have this time of year...

* * *

It was that time of year again where people suddenly just started to come home - Tim and Damian stayed home because of the school holidays, Dick found someone to cover for him in Bludhaven and visits, Cass tried to be present because she knew that Christmas was one of the only occasions where Bruce would even give himself a break and the family would reunite, and believe it or not, even Jason made an effort to come over for the cookies. Which was exactly the reason why there were currently five of Bruce's kids running rampage in the snow.

Believe it or not, it wasn't Damian that started the fight, or Jason, or Dick, or even Tim… It was Cass!

Picture this: Dick blowing on the top of his hot chocolate while Tim typed away on his laptop, occasionally sipping iced coffee (in winter because he just loves to fuck with everyone's logic). Damian was feeling particularly productive, so he went outside to draw, and Jason was just approaching the manor, getting ready to storm through the kitchen door where Alfred was making a roast for dinner that night. Bruce was somewhere brooding because out of the cold in the Batcave, and Cass… no one really knows where she went most of the time. But as soon as the firsts snow ball landed on Jason Todd's head, he immediately turned around to see the _Devil's Spawn_ walking across the snow, and he deduced within about a split second that _of course_ Damian Wayne would throw a snowball at him out of some reason he didn't need to know. But he was getting revenge.

And Damian, who didn't care for Jason's presence at the manor, was not happy to be hit with a snowball.

"What did you do that for?" he screamed at Jason.

"Revenge, Hell's Spawn!" another snowball was thrown and the little one ducked.

"I don't know what game you're playing at Todd," Damian growled and dropped his sketchbook on the snow covered shrubs. "But you STARTED IT!"

With a mighty battle cry, the boy scooped up a lump of snow and hurled it at Jason, then immediately reloaded his hand with another while Jason ran away from the said snowball, and began to pick up his own ammunitions. And it was a lot of throwing, ducking, rolling and swearing for around a minute or so until one hit the kitchen window and Dick came running out with an eager look on his face.

"Snowball fight!" he screamed, began to grab the snow from the ground and formed it into a good tight ball with his hand. The Red Hood, with his hand in mid-swing, stopped to stare at his brother before shouting, "Don't you dare throw that snowba- Goddammit Dick! Who's side are you on?"

Meanwhile Damian laughed in the background,"Obviously mi-oof! Grayson!"

"Wasn't me!"

"Stop lying! I didn't see Todd throwing it!"

"It wasn't him, Demon Spawn."

"What do you mean it wasn't him?"

"It means...," Dick casually bent down to make another snowball, then standing up and hurling it into the tree, causing a very sneaky short haired teenager to jump from her hiding place, all the while still smiling lightly.

Damian stared at her in confusion...

"Cain?"

...while Jason smirked and cracked his knuckles, "Oh, it's on, _sister_!"

At some point, Tim went outside to call everyone in upon Alfred's request, which ended up with him falling into the snow, and almost being trampled by Damian who was throwing snowballs at Cass like throwing batarangs at crooks. And Cass was straddling Jason's shoulders, covering his eyes while he screamed for her to " _let go!"_ and using him as a human shield against the younger boy. Dick was lying somewhere in the snow, utterly tired, possibly concussed and was just simply making snow angles and ignoring the commotion all together. No one noticed poor Tim, and whichever stray snowball will somehow magically end up flying towards his face… until he has had _enough!_

And his method of showing his rage? He tripped Jason, who fell on top of a very unresponsive Dick, and before that, he swung Cass off of Jason's shoulders and into Damian who was running towards their way.

"Alfred said he wanted everyone inside," he said simply and tried to make his way towards the stairs at the foot of the door - emphasis on _tried_ because when you just royally pissed off four children of Batman, the last thing they would do is let you walk away without _sweet_ revenge.

"Oh Timmy! Care to join us?," Dick's eyes gleamed with malicious mischief.

* * *

"Bruce!"

"Father! Todd is-"

"Jason's swinging on _my_ chandelier _again!_ "

"Grayson broke the jar!"

"Bruce! Damian bit me!"

"Where's Titus? Titus!"

"Cassandra, no. It's me, Dick, your favourite brother! Cassandra, please, don't- arhhhh!"

"Bruce!"

"Bruce!"

"Bruce!"

"Father!"

"Master Bruce."

Bruce lifted his head from between his arms to look at his butler with weary eyes. While his butler had all the while remain completely calm through the chaos going on upstairs, Bruce just felt the need to retreat from the world (and by that he means all his kids in the living room), which was absolutely impossible but he tries anyways. He loves Christmas, he does - the work load just suddenly _felt_ less, and the snow makes the manor so much more warm - but he's also terrified of the day when his kids - Bruce Wayne's kids, not Batman's - are _all._ Under. _One_. _Roof_.

 _(At least in their vigilante persona, they would be less… squabbling.)_

"Would you like some soundproof headphones, sir?" the butler asked with the most formal tone you would expect from Alfred, along with the very expecting glance. The message was clear as day.

"Fine! I'll go deal with them," Bruce sighed and headed for the living room, where immediately he was bombarded with a single word escaping from everyone's mouth.

"BATMAN!"


End file.
